Just Believe Me
by XxFallingxAngelxX
Summary: Remus cheated on Sirius, or at least that's what Sirius thinks. Can James fix this misunderstanding? Or will he be too late for Remus' sake? SLASH RL/SB
1. He's Cheating!

_**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter or it's characters._

_**Warnings:** Slash (RL/SB), Rape, Cutting, etc._

* * *

**Just Believe Me**

James had just finished his potions essay when Sirius walked through the portrait hole. James saw tears on his friend's eyes and instantly got worried. Sirius never cried and James immediately thought about Remus, wondering if the werewolf was okay. If Sirius was crying it obviously involved Remus…

"Sirius what happened? Are you okay? Is Remus okay?"

"James! Remus, he…he's cheating on me." Sirius' voice was pained and he had to struggle to get the words out. He walked toward James and practically fell into James' arms, seeking any kind of comfort.

"Remus would never do that!"

"Well he did!" Sirius' throat closed up and his tears fell faster. James felt hopeless, Sirius had never cried before. He didn't know what to do, he wasn't too good with this situations.

"Why…why don't you sit and tell me what happened?" Sirius nodded and sat at the couch, trying to catch his breath. James followed and sat next to the distraught boy, placing a hand to his shoulder.

* * *

_*****Flashback*****_

Sirius was on his way to the library, he would pick Remus up, his boyfriend always stayed really late studying, and Sirius didn't like him walking back to the Gryffindor tower alone.

He was walking though the fifth floor when he saw Malfoy a feet away, kissing someone, pinning them to the wall. Sirius wasn't impressed; this wasn't something new; Malfoy was always doing these kinds of things, not caring who would see. After all, nobody could stop him, no one dared to.

He was about to choose another hallway as to not interrupt when he saw it…a familiar, beautiful mop of tawny hair…Sirius' heart seemed to stop when he realized who exactly Malfoy was kissing. That's when he saw Remus' backpack just besides them.

'_It can't be Remus…he …he wouldn't do this, he loves me._ ' Sirius got closer as to be sure it really wasn't Remus. He could feel his heart pounding as it was gripped by dread.

Sirius gasped when he got full view of the boy being kissed by Malfoy. It was Remus, his Remus, his boyfriend, the boy he loved…who had told Sirius he loved him back.

At that same moment Remus parted his lips, allowing Malfoy to deepen the kiss. Sirius' eyes filled with tears and he ran away, back to Gryffindor tower.

_*****Flashback Ends*****_

* * *

"I…I can't believe it, it doesn't seem like something Remus would do" James was utterly confused; he knew Remus loved Sirius, why would he cheat on him? And why with _Malfoy_ of all people?

Sirius sat numbly in the common room, James had just gone upstairs to get the map so he was alone and he could still feel a knot on his throat as he tried to stop his pain. He suddenly started when he heard the portrait hole opening. Who could be coming back so late?

He felt anger rising as soon as he saw Remus. His clothes were disheveled and even torn in some places, it almost distracted Sirius from the fact that he had a split lip and looked like he had been crying. However, Sirius didn't have much time to think about it as he felt the distinct smell of sex coming from Remus.

He stood up and walked towards the smaller boy startling him with this movement. Remus hadn't seen Sirius until he moved and saying he was happy would have been an understatement, he knew Sirius would help him forget, he always made things better, he made Remus happy, no matter what...

"Sirius" Remus headed straight towards Sirius with a little smile.

"Where were you?" Sirius' voice was cold and it made Remus' smile disappear.

"I…I was at the…library" Remus wasn't ready to tell him, not now…not _yet_.

"Bullshit Remus! I saw you at the hallway with Malfoy!" Sirius was so mad, so hurt he had forgotten all about getting Remus' side of the story, now he just wanted to yell at Remus for hurting him.

"I…I-" So he had actually seen Sirius? Then… _why didn't he help Remus?_

"Save it! I saw you kissing him!" Remus started shaking, unable to think about anything beyond Sirius' angry face and harsh voice.

"Sirius…I wasn't kissing him, he, he was-"

"How dare you lie to me, did you lie all the time?"

"No, Sirius, listen to me!" Remus tried to reach for Sirius but the taller boy just moved back a step.

"Why should I? You're just a liar!" Sirius' looked at him with a tint of disgust and it made Remus' heart crack a bit.

"Shut up! Please let me explain it to you!" Remus desperately tried to think of a way to tell Sirius everything, but his head was a mess. He couldn't think straight and he felt dizzy, he tried to ignore the small flashbacks but it seemed impossible, and it just made his throat close up painfully.

"Explain what? That you love Malfoy now?!"

"No! Shut up! Just shut up!" Remus was crying now, why couldn't Sirius understand he hadn't meant to kiss Malfoy, he didn't mean any of it to happen.

"So now you're his little whore? You disgust me!" Sirius didn't even know what he was saying, he was _so_ mad.

"No! Sirius-" Remus was cut of by Sirius again

"You know what?! I was lying too! I don't love you, I never have! And I never will!" Remus looked away, he didn't want to see if this was really happening. He tried to force himself to ignore the words but they still managed to sink into his heart.

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" Remus didn't want to listen anymore, he just wanted Sirius to hug him and help him forget. He wanted to push Sirius away, he wanted to make him stop talking, but most of all he wanted Sirius to hold him and run his fingers through his hair like he did after his transformations.

"I only wanted to sleep with you…wanted to try it with a werewolf…but now I don't even want that! How could I even-"

"Shut up! I hate you!"

_*Slap*_

The sound echoed through the whole room.

Remus' lip quivered. A tear fell. Sirius took a step back, stunned.

Sirius had slapped Remus so hard he had left a red imprint of his hand on the smaller boy's pale skin.

Remus' hand rose to touch his aching cheek, more tears fell and he ran out of the room, Sirius watching him run away…


	2. Tell Me

_**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter or its characters._

_**Warnings:** Slash (RL/SB), Rape, Cutting, etc._

* * *

**Just Believe Me**

James had left Sirius on the common room while he retrieved the marauder's map; they were going to look for Remus. He wasn't back yet and James was starting to worry and he knew that Sirius was concerned too, the other boy may be mad but it wasn't like he didn't care about Remus at all. He was halfway down the stairs when he heard Remus yell something, and then came the sound of skin meeting skin. He stopped mid-step, he knew Sirius was angry but he never thought he would hit Remus; Sirius wouldn't do that…

He heard fast footsteps approaching and then saw Remus running up the stairs, crashing against him.

He was able to stop himself and Remus from falling and then pushed Remus farther away to see his face, it was covered in tears, had his bottom lip split and a hand print on his cheek (probably Sirius' job). Just at that moment Remus broke down crying, burring his face on James' chest and clutching his shirt. James was mad at Remus for apparently cheating on Sirius but he couldn't ignore his friend's pain and tears; he was torn between pushing Remus away and comforting him. He was about to push Remus away and ask for and explanation when he saw the bruises on the werewolf's wrists.

"Remus, come on, clam down…Everything's okay…" James starting pulling Remus into their dorm while trying to calm him down. "Tell me what happened, please…" James sat Remus down on his own bed, brought a glass of water and some tissues for him and then sat next to him. "Now, tell me what happened"

Remus took a deep breath and started telling James everything.

* * *

_*****Flashback*****_

Remus was walking back to Gryffindor tower, when he felt someone pull him and was pin him to the wall. He looked up to see that it was Malfoy who had him trapped and before he could comprehend what was happening he felt lips on his. He started pushing Malfoy but to no avail since he was two years older and much stronger that Remus.

Malfoy was kissing him roughly, and he was sure he would have bruises after this. He heard footsteps and soon after he heard a gasp and Sirius came to view. He wanted to call for help but as soon as he opened his mouth Malfoy deepened the kiss. He tried to push him away again but it was useless. Remus looked back to Sirius, hoping the animagus would help him, Sirius was strong he would surely be able to push Malfoy away, but Sirius was nowhere in sight, he had left him alone, with Malfoy…

Malfoy stopped kissing him then, but it wasn't over yet. He grabbed Remus by the shoulders and pushed him into an empty classroom.

He pushed Remus onto the floor and magically tied his wrists together and to a desk nearby, then he started kissing Remus again.

"Stop... Malfoy stop...Please!" Remus pleaded between the rough kisses.

Malfoy starting undressing Remus as he kissed the younger boy's pale neck. Remus tried to pull his arms free but couldn't even move his hands properly. Finally Malfoy looked at him with a scary smirk.

"Please, Malfoy, I don't want this. Please…" Remus had tears falling and he was shaking with fear, trying to get Malfoy to leave him alone.

The older boy just leaned close to Remus' ear and gave the earlobe a small nip. "Don't worry you'll like it." Remus gave a choked sob and tried to move away but the older boy just chuckled as he placed a silencing charm on the room.

**_***end of Flashback*** _(A/N: hope you understand what happened, I just can't write it!)**

* * *

James didn't know what to do as Remus broke into tears when he finished.

"Remus…I…I think we should tell Dumbledore or… or your parents or something"

"My parents kicked me out, remember?" Of course James remembered, Remus had told him at King's Cross station at the beginning of the year, when he had asked if his parents were dropping him off.

They had kicked him out when he had told them he was Sirius' boyfriend, he was now staying with a childhood friend and his parents, his friend was a squib so he didn't go to Hogwarts. James had never met Remus' friend but he was thankful to him all the same, he didn't want to imagine Remus alone and with no one to turn to. Remus had made James promise he wouldn't tell Sirius, or the pureblood would blame himself. Sirius still thought that Remus had just convinced his parents that he could go alone and that they just didn't have much time to write.

"I'm sorry for bringing that up" James felt confused and lost; he didn't know what to say to his friend "why didn't you tell Sirius, about this?"

"He didn't give me time, besides, he's right, I am a whore" Remus he pulled his knees to his chest and put his head over them. James shook the indignation over Sirius calling his boyfriend (even if it was his ex-boyfriend) something so hurtful.

"No…no Rem, this wasn't your fault. I really think we should tell him, he'd forgive you, for sure" At this Remus looked up at James, with a frightened expression.

"No! No, don't tell him!" Remus looked at James desperately. "Please James! He can't know!"

"Okay, Okay! I won't tell him but you've got to tell me why it's so important." James, waited for Remus' answer inquiringly.

"He'll be so disappointed." Whispered Remus sadly. "He can't know I'm so weak…"

James just sighed, and looked at his friend dejectedly. Sirius meant everything to Remus, and now he had lost him.


	3. He's Malfoy's Now!

_**Disclaimer:**__ I don't own Harry Potter or its characters._

_**Warnings:**__ Slash (RL/SB), Rape, Cutting, etc._

**Just Believe Me**

James held Remus until his sobs stopped.

"Moony…would…would you like a bath; maybe it will make you feel better?" James really, didn't know what to do or say.

"Yeah, I'd like that" Remus sniffed and stood up, took some clothes, his towel and went to the bathroom.

James stood up sighing and went to the common room. He had to talk to Sirius, and try to sort things out while not telling the truth…this could be hard…

He found Sirius sitting on the couch in front of the fire; he was staring dully at it, he had tear streaks on his cheeks.

"Sirius…are you okay?" Sirius jumped a little when he heard his name and looked at James surprised, he hadn't heard him climb down the stairs. "Do you want to talk about it?" so it wasn't really smooth, but at least he would know how Sirius felt about everything.

"He said he hates me…I don't know what to do. I…I didn't mean what I said but…I was so mad…"

"Sirius, Remus doesn't hate you, he was mad too. If you just went up…talked to him...it really isn't what you think." James knew Sirius was still hurt and he wasn't going to go apologizing just like that, he was still a Black after all.

"No! I won't! He cheated on me! He…he actually slept with someone! I…I really thought he loved me…" the last part was merely a sad whisper.

"Sirius, if you would just talk to him, he feels really bad about what happened."

"No! I'll never talk to him again!"

"Come on Sirius! He's hurting!" James didn't even know how to make Sirius talk to Remus.

"Well, his new boyfriend can take care of that now!"

"Remus isn't Malfoy's boyfriend and you're being an idiot! I mean, you don't even know what happened!" Sirius' anger wasn't aimed at Remus anymore, now the target was James.

"I can't believe you're defending him, _he cheated _on_ me_! I' supposed to be your best friend! You know what? I don't want to talk to you ever again, and tell Remus we're over. He can be Malfoy's whore for all I care!" Sirius stood up and hastily left the Gryffindor tower.

James sighed and went up to their dorm again; Remus should've ended his shower by now. He entered the dorm, to find Remus sitting on his bed staring blankly at the covers.

"Feeling better?" Remus started when he heard James, but managed to smile a little. It was obviously fake, weak and didn't even compare to his previous warm and sweet smile. His eyes had changed too, they weren't as bright as before and they certainly weren't as expressive. Now they looked like a fading star…

"Yeah, a little, thanks for asking, and listening."

"It's okay." James walked towards the bed and sat on it. "Will you be able to sleep tonight?"

"I had some sleep potion…so it will be easier."

"Okay, then. But if you need anything you can wake me up okay?" James wasn't usually so caring but his friend had been hurt and he would do anything to fix the damage.

"Okay, good night." With that Remus slipped under the covers and James close his friend's hangings, walking towards his bed, placing some silencing charms on them so his friend would sleep better.

He walked to his bed, and got ready to sleep. He lay awake until way past midnight, loathing Malfoy until he finally fell asleep.

* * *

Remus stood up flinching, his whole body was sore and he didn't know why. He stretched as much as his aching limbs could, without the pain became unbearable. He was about to open the hangings when he saw bruises on his wrist, then he remembered everything that had happened the day before. He felt tears on his eyes, but refused to let them go, he didn't want anyone to see him crying, he would seem even weaker…

"_I hope James hasn't told anyone"_ thought Remus wile opening the hangings and standing up. All of his roommates were gone, (which was understandable, it was 10:00 a.m. thank god it was a Saturday) at least that's what he thought before he saw a figure on the bed next to his.

"Oh! Hi Sirius." he said quietly. Sirius was the last person he wanted to see right now, besides Malfoy that is.

Sirius just ignored him, and Remus felt like crying again, but he also felt desperation hit him, he felt like begging Sirius to forgive him, and that's just what he did.

"Sirius, I swear it wasn't my fault! I…I didn't want to…please just believe me I-!"

"Shut up, Remus, I don't believe you and that's the end of it! Stop talking to me, you disgust me, I can't even look at you!" Remus fell to his knees crying, while Sirius gave him one last cold look and left the room.

* * *

Sirius left their dorm, with tears in his eyes. It broke his heart to see Remus crying, but he just couldn't believe him, he knew Remus had wanted to sleep with Malfoy, why else would he do it?

He passed next to James, he glared at him. Partly to show him he was still mad at him, partly to show him something had happened at the dorm _"maybe he can comfort Remus"._ Even if he wasn't Remus' boyfriend he still loved the werewolf and that wouldn't change easily.

* * *

James walked into the dorm looking for Remus, but he was already on the shower, he could hear sobbing sounds through the noise of running water. He would have to wait until Remus came out to talk to him. He sat down on his bed and after awhile of silent waiting he took out a Quiddich magazine, he tried to distract himself, he hated to see (or hear) his friends crying.

* * *

Remus just couldn't forget what Sirius said. He didn't want to see Remus anymore _"who would?"_ Remus couldn't stop himself from thinking it. Who would want to even look at such at disgusting creature as himself? He had let Malfoy do what he had wanted with him, maybe he had even asked for it, he knew corridors were dangerous at night, and he knew Malfoy _"liked"_ him he had seen the was the older boy looked at him. Still he hadn't protected himself, he knew what could happen and he had let it happen…and hadn't he reacted to Malfoy's touches? At least his body had...did that mean he was enjoying it? He was so confused…

He finished his shower and walked towards the sink with just his towel on his waist. He was surprised as soon as he saw himself at the mirror. He had bags under his eyes, (which were red for so much crying) a purple bruise was forming on his left cheek and his lip, even if cleared of the blood, still had a little mark where it had split.

Still he wasn't so worried about his face, he could hide the bruise and to something about the bags under his eyes. No, what worried him were the other bruises… he had red hickies all over his neck and chest; he also had bruises on his shoulders, hips and arms, where Malfoy had pinned him down. What was worse though were the cuts and bruises on his thighs, although he had seen those before while on the shower.

He felt sickened by himself; his whole body was a remainder of what he had let Malfoy do to him. He hated those bruises…he hated himself for having them…how they looked in contrast to his skin… He didn't want to see them anymore; he didn't want to see _himself_ anymore. He was disgusting. He _hated_ himself. If he would have been stronger, smarter, maybe they wouldn't be there.

*Crash!*

Remus didn't know when but he had punched the mirror, breaking it. The cracks on the mirror made it impossible for him to see his reflection…

* * *

_**A/N:**__** chapter 3 up! Hope you like it…**_

_**By the way thanks to everyone who put my story on their story alert list!**_

_**-XxFallingxAngelxX  
**_

_**P.S.: Please try to Review; it would really make me happy! And you know a happy author writes faster!!!! XD**_


	4. Empty

_**Disclaimer:**__ I don't own Harry Potter or its characters._

_**Warnings:**__ Slash (RL/SB), Rape, Cutting, etc._

**Just Believe Me**

_*Crash!*_

James jumped to his feet when he heard the sudden noise. He realized it was the sound of glass breaking, and it came from the bathroom.

He rushed to the bathroom's door, only to find it locked.

"Remus?" James strained his ears but he couldn't hear any movement on the inside. "Remy?" he was starting to get nervous. "Are you okay?" after listening for a few seconds, he pulled his wand out of his pocket. If Remus wouldn't open the door, then he would do it himself. No one could really know what the werewolf was capable of doing now that he had lost Sirius.

"_Alohomora_"

He gasped as soon as he saw Remus, the bruises had gotten darker and he felt his hate for Malfoy grow even stronger. His eyes stayed away, trying to stop his murdering thoughts and remembering the noise that had brought him there. Then he saw his friend's hand. It was covered in blood, with some glass shards sticking into his flesh.

"Remus what happened?" Remus still didn't answer. James ran towards the wounded boy. Remus just stared at the broken mirror entranced by the way his reflection looked…twisted and unrecognizable. James ran to the dorm and came back with some bandages and tweezers so that he could take out the pieces of glass.

*

* * *

*

James sat at his bed, waiting for his friend to finish dressing. He had been able to fix Remus' hand as well as the mirror.

Now he just sat there thinking on how things had changed on just a couple of days. Everything was wrong. Sirius was mad at him; his two best friends had passed from a happy and joyful couple, to a pair of sad and lonely teenagers. And what was worse, Sirius now hated Remus, or acted like he did? James wasn't sure anymore. He really thought every thing could be better if people loved each other. But maybe Sirius hadn't loved Remus from the start…

And them there was Remus, too ashamed of what had been done to him to even ask for forgiveness, and too broken to hope for it. James knew Sirius was hurting too but… Remus was afraid and aching and James couldn't stop himself from thinking Sirius could've made it all better for the werewolf, Sirius had that kind of power over the tawny-haired boy, he controlled every happy emotion, and every smile the smile boy had.

"James?" James heard the shy voice ask him.

"I'm sorry Rem, did you say something?"

"I just asked if you didn't have Quiddich practice today, I thought you did?" Remus was sitting on his bed (which was next to James) looking at him.

"Damn! I do! I'm really sorry Moony, but I really have to go" James stood up and started gathering his Quiddich gear.

"It's okay. I think I'll just stay up here."

"Are you sure? You can come with me if you want." James stopped picking stuff up to look at Remus.

"It's okay; I don't want to go out right now. I'll just stay and read a book or something."

"Okay, then I guess I'll just see you later" James hesitated but finally left running towards the Quiddich pitch.

He got there just in time. Saving himself from Edwards' fury. Ryan Edwards was a very harsh as a captain, but a kind person, still, he did not appreciate tardiness.

"Potter, why is your shirt covered with blood?"

They were on the changing room and James now realized he had forgotten to change his shirt; he had just put a sweater over it.

"My roommate got hurt and I helped clean his wound."

"Which roommate? Was it a serious injury?" Edwards now seemed a little worried.

"Remus. No it wasn't that bad; he just cut his hand with some glass" James saw Sirius tensing a little on his spot on a bench. James knew it was wrong but he actually felt better at seeing his friend was worried, maybe there was still hope for Remus…

"I hope he's okay" Edwards said, his worry disappearing a little.

"Yeah he is, I may not be Pomfrey but I know how to deal with minor injuries" James smiled at Edwards.

"Okay then, let's start practice" Edwards returned the smile, and walked out towards the pitch, Sirius following seconds after.

He had expected for Sirius to ask if his friend was okay, but the animagus had just walked past him. Maybe Sirius had really stopped caring for the werewolf. Sighing James joined his team on the pitch.

*

* * *

*

Remus was sitting in the common room, trying to relax and read a book. But he couldn't stop thinking about Sirius, Malfoy, and oddly enough, he couldn't stop thinking about what had happened in the bathroom…all the blood, all the pain, it felt so…right…it just stopped everything else…every thought, it numbed him…

Sighing he decided he would take a walk through the school. There was no point in just staying sitting there anyways. Besides it was still early, and people would be around the castle, so nothing could really happen to him.

He was going towards the astronomy tower, when he realized that the castle was unusually empty. 'Today's the Hogsmeade trip! God I'm an idiot!' he was realizing how unwise his choice of leaving the common room had been, when he heard footsteps behind him. He ignored them, until he felt they were too close to him. Remus looked over his shoulders only to see Malfoy smirking at him.

Remus felt panic form inside him (last night's memories coming back at him) and started running, the Slytherin seventh year hot on his heels. Hoping to reach a more populated area of the castle he turned through many hallways. He heard Malfoy laugh behind him, and could imagine the smirk on the older boy's face.

Soon the chasing was over and once again Remus could find himself pinned on the wall.

"Such a beautiful boy like you shouldn't walk around unprotected. Don't you know bad things can happen if you do? Don't you remember what happened last time?" Malfoy chuckled; his face getting closer to Remus' by the second.

"Hey! Malfoy! Leave him alone!"

*

* * *

*

_**A/N: **_

I'm really sorry for taking this long to update, but I've been having some problems lately, not to mention I'm getting a lot of homework!

Anyway I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

_Again:_ Reviews are always appreciated, and please tell me if I made a grammar or spelling mistake. (Or even if I typed something wrong!)

_**P.S.:**_ I love you. Nah I'm kidding! But did you see that movie? It's really nice (though I cried through most of it!)

_**P.P.S.:**_ (now it's for real, I swear!) Aren't you curious about who's saving Remus? I am! Oh, wait, I'm writing the story…


	5. Lonely

_**Disclaimer:**__ I don't own Harry Potter or its characters._

_**Warnings:**__ Slash (RL/SB), Rape, Cutting, etc._

**Just Believe Me**

"_Hey! Malfoy! Leave him alone!"_

Malfoy turned around to find the Gryffindor Quiddich team standing at the end of the hallway, all looking defiant. All except for one, Sirius was, surprisingly, glaring at Remus, who in turn was looking at the floor with shame.

"Why don't you make me Edwards?" Malfoy smirked at him, and came a little closer to Remus their chests touching, pushing him harder against the wall.

"Lets go guys, leave Lupin alone with his boyfriend." Sirius turned around and started climbing the stairs leading to the Gryffindor tower.

The other players hesitated, they didn't know what to think; finally they followed Sirius. Remus felt like crying, now he was alone with Malfoy again. He allowed a tear to fall.

"I said, leave him alone." Remus' head snapped back up, he saw Edwards still glaring at Malfoy.

"I don't think so." Malfoy hissed threateningly.

Edwards hastily walked up to them, grabbing Malfoy by the collar and pulling him away from Remus, standing in front of the werewolf protectively.

Malfoy managed to catch himself before falling. "You better watch yourself Lupin, Edwards won't always be with you." Malfoy smirked at Remus and with one last glare at Edwards he walked away.

"Are you okay?" Edwards turned around to stare at Remus. He just bowed his head more.

"I'm sorry" Remus muttered. Edwards just raised his eyebrows in question.

"What for?"

"You had to fight with Malfoy, because of me, because I was careless." Another tear fell.

"Don't worry about it, it wasn't your fault." Edwards smiled. "He's not your boyfriend, is he?" He asked a little more seriously, if he was Remus' boyfriend then he may need to have a talk with him about how he was treated by Malfoy. Even if he didn't know much of Remus he knew he didn't deserve to be abused by his own boyfriend.

"No he's not."

"Then why did Sirius say he is?"

"There was a misunderstanding, and well, he thinks that I'm in a relationship with Malfoy." Remus looked down again; he didn't like to remember Sirius.

"Hey! Rem, Ryan!" James ran up to them. "What happened?" He saw Remus had teary eyes.

Edwards didn't know if he should answer, he saw the shame in Remus' eyes, and realized that he should leave him alone with James. After all it wasn't his story to tell. "I'll leave now. See you later James, you too Remus." Both of them nodded and he left.

"What happened, Rem?" James looked into Remus' eyes but the werewolf looked away.

"Nothing" He didn't want to lie to James, but he didn't want to make him worry either,

"Come on; let's go back to the Gryffindor tower." Instead of asking again, he chose to take Remus to their dorm, and ask more then.

* * *

They got to their dorm and Remus went to sit on his bed, James followed him and sat next to him. He sighed.

"Remus please tell me what happened, I only want to help you." Remus looked at him for a while, then he took a deep breath and started to tell him what happened, since he left the Gryffindor tower.

"-and then when he was about to kiss me, somebody yelled at him, it was Edwards, all the team was there."

"But I only saw Ryan." James looked at Remus confused.

"They left, Sirius, he…he told them to leave me alone with, with my boyfriend." Remus looked away from James. "So they left. And well, Edwards didn't, he told Malfoy to go away, and he pushed him away from me, Malfoy left, and then you came."

James sighed. "I'm sorry for not being there Remus, I forgot something and I had to go back to the changing rooms. I'm sorry."

"It's okay James; really, it wasn't your fault, I shouldn't have left the tower in the first place, not with the castle empty."

"At least nothing too bad happened. I still can't believe Sirius, though. He shouldn't have left you there, not when you were in trouble."

"He didn't know that James." Remus quietly argued.

"He should've found out, before he left you there."

"It doesn't matter. Nothing happened anyways."

"You're right." They sat quietly for a moment. "I didn't think Malfoy would attack you again. I thought he was finally going to leave you alone."

"Yeah, that's what I thought too."

* * *

Sirius walked towards the edge of the lake, and sat under a willow. He felt like crying, he used to come here with Remus even before he had become his boyfriend, he really missed the tawny-haired boy. It had already been a week, since Remus had cheated on him. He couldn't stand it anymore, he felt like apologizing to Remus every time he saw him around the school. _'But I don't have to apologize; he was the one that hurt me. He cheated on me. Right? Right.'_

What was worse was that he didn't even have James to help him out of his misery, he just had Peter, and he had gotten tired of him, after 2 hours of his company. He wanted his best friend back, but James seemed to be glued to Remus, so he couldn't even talk to him without having to face Remus. It wasn't that Sirius really felt disgusted with the werewolf as he had told him. No, he just couldn't face such a sad and unhealthy looking Remus. Every time Sirius saw him on one the corridors he seemed thinner, and when Remus actually realized Sirius was staring he quickly looked away, an Sirius changed his worried expression for a hard and hateful one, which at the end just made him feel worse since Remus' eyes filled with tears an the boy walked away quickly trying to will the tears away.

"Hey Sirius!" Sirius snapped out of his thoughts, and saw James sitting next to him and staring at him. "Are you okay?"

"I thought you would never talk to me again." Sirius avoided the question but he knew the answer, no, he wasn't okay, he missed his boyfriend, he felt lonely, his world had fallen apart the moment he saw Remus kissing Malfoy on that hallway.

"I never said that." James answered. "I just didn't feel like talking to you."

"Then why are you doing it?"

"If you must know, Remus sent me here." James studied Sirius' face, trying to see any emotion, but couldn't find any. "He wanted me to cheer you up; he knows you hate feeling lonely."

Sirius' heart started beating faster, _'maybe Remus still cares…' _Sirius stopped himself, he shouldn't be thinking like that, Remus cheated on him, he betrayed Sirius, lied to him, and besides Remus had told him that he hated him.

"Lets not talk about him." James sighed and decided to listen to Sirius.

"Fine, so what have you been doing lately?"

Truthfully James had missed his friend and he really wanted him back, but it was also true that he didn't want to talk to him. Every time he saw Sirius he felt like screaming the truth about Remus at him, but he knew he couldn't. And Remus really had convinced him of doing it, reminding him about the fun he had with Sirius and how good friends they used to be. Finally he accepted, because he too had noticed how alone Sirius was all the time; he didn't seem to want any new friends, so he had followed Remus' orders and talked to Sirius again.

* * *

Remus looked from the window in his dorm toward the lake. He saw James approaching Sirius, who was sitting under a willow. He smiled slightly and went back inside the room. He didn't have to worry about Sirius anymore; he would be fine as long as he had James with him.

He sighed and walked to his bed and grabbed a book from his nightstand. He turned toward his bed to climb up, when the book slipped to the floor. Remus felt some pain on his middle finger, he looked at it and saw some blood was coming out, he stared at it for a while, he remembered when he had punched the mirror, the pain, the blood, the numbness…

It had felt good, he had forgotten about everything; about all that was wrong…he wanted to feel like that again…

Remus shook those thoughts away…he didn't want to hurt himself, did he?

* * *

_**A/N: **_

_Sorry for not updating faster!!!_

_I know it's been like 2 months since I last updated, but...well, I didn't have much time to write it. Besides I was trying to post a new chapter to my other story, (because this one has 4 chapters, __(with this 5) and the other one has only 3, so I thought it was unfair and I was trying to fix that.) and since it had to be a long chapter I haven't finished yet. Still I chose to post one for this story because I knew that if I waited to finish the other one, it will take more time._

_As always I would like some reviews and please tell me if I made any kind of mistakes._

_Thanks!_

_**-XxFallingxAngelxX**_

_**P.S.: **__I think that next chapter will be about… (Dramatic pause)…a full moon! That's when it all gets interesting!!!_


	6. False Hope

_**Disclaimer:**__ I don't own Harry Potter or its characters._

_**Warnings:**__ Slash (RL/SB), Rape, Cutting, etc._

_

* * *

_

**Just Believe Me**

"Tomorrow's a full moon." James sat next to Remus on the latter's bed.

"Yeah, I know."

"I talked to Sirius" The werewolf looked at his hands on his lap, waiting for James to continue.

"What did he say?" Remus didn't want to know, actually, he already knew.

"That, he won't go." James stared at Remus as he said it, he could almost feel the sadness coming from his friend. "I'm sorry Rem, I really tried to convince him, but he's so stubborn."

"That's okay Prongs, if he doesn't want to, he doesn't have to come." His eyes started filling with tears.

"It'll be okay." James hugged Remus trying to be comforting, and at the same moment the door to their room opened, and Sirius walked in.

He stood on the door just staring at them. James quickly let go of Remus and looked at Sirius waiting for him to do something to stop Remus' tears, like he would've done before, but his friend just turned and left the room. Remus stood up and walked to the bathroom.

"Rem, I…" He didn't know what to say to him.

"It's okay, but I'll need sometime alone, I'm sorry." Remus disappeared into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

* * *

"Sirius, please just come to the shack tonight."

"I won't James, no matter how much times you ask." Sirius wasn't about to give in to James' pleas. He didn't want to be there, to see Remus hurt and bleeding and not be able to care for him like he did before, not able to hug him and comfort him, it might just kill him. "I won't" with that he stood up and left the Quiddich changing rooms.

He was walking back to the castle, lost in his thoughts, when he bumped into someone. His head snapped up and he was met with Remus' beautiful blue eyes. Sirius couldn't bring himself to look away, he hadn't seen those perfect eyes in weeks. He would've stayed all day staring at the face in front of him if it wasn't for Remus, who looked away in embarrassment.

"I'm- I'm sorry." Remus walked away, towards James who was waiting for him by the Quiddich pitch and together they walked towards the Whomping Willow. It would be getting dark soon, Sirius realized. He ran inside the castle and towards the Gryffindor tower. He found Peter coming out through the portrait hole.

"Peter, look, I need a favor."

"But, we need to get to the Shack." Peter stared at Sirius confused.

"I won't go. So I need you to come look for me as soon as Remus returns to normal. Do you understand?" Peter nodded and left.

Sirius went through the portrait hole and walked up to his dorm. He threw himself on his bed and tried to forget about the full moon, about Remus and about that stupid aching feeling on his heart.

* * *

Sirius woke up with a start, feeling someone shaking him. He sat up and saw two figures in the dim light. It was James and Peter, both looking worried and pale.

"What happened?" He knew something was wrong, James' eyes had tears on them and Sirius was almost sure he had blood stains on his clothes.

"Remus…he's really hurt, it- it was horrible."

"How bad was it?" Sirius' voice shook at the end of the sentence.

"He scratched…and bit every part he could reach. We couldn't stop him, we tried, I swear, but we couldn't, he was too angry." James looked at the floor ashamed of himself, Peter walked to his bed and sat on it, sighing.

"I have to see him." Sirius stood up quickly and ran to the door.

"Sirius wait!" James walked to his bed and retrieved his invisibility cloak, throwing it at Sirius. "Take this. They won't let you in."

He ran out of the Gryffindor tower and walked hurriedly towards the hospital wing, he didn't care if he was making too much noise or if he could get detention, all he cared about was Remus.

When he finally reached the hospital wing, he realized he didn't know exactly what he would say to Remus when he finally saw him. What would he do if Remus didn't want him there? What if Malfoy was in there with Remus? But that would be impossible, since Malfoy didn't know, did he? He was considering going back to the dorm, when he heard a groan of pain from inside the hospital wing. He knew it belonged to Remus, and it hurt him to listen to it, he had to know how bad it was. He silently opened the door and walked inside, towards the room where Remus slept after each transformation.

He opened the door and looked into the room, but he couldn't go any further inside, not when he saw Remus. His arms were all wrapped up in bandages, some blood stains showing through the white material, his face was full of bruises and some cuts. What scared Sirius the most though, was the blood tainted bandages on his neck. Without realizing he slowly walked inside and towards Remus' lying form. He stood next to the bed not knowing what to do. He hadn't seen Remus so hurt since before they had managed to become animagi and even before that Remus hadn't had such a bad full moon.

He was about to leave the room when Remus stirred. This startled Sirius and he stood frozen on his spot.

Remus tried to open his eyes, he had to know why everything hurt so much. He looked towards his left, every time, after every full moon, Sirius had sat there and waited for him to wake up. It had been like that since 3rd year. Sirius sat on a chair next to his bed, took his hand and waited for him to wake up, sometimes he even fell asleep there, but he never left Remus alone. But this time no one was next to his bed, there were no worried gray eyes staring at him, no sleeping marauder's head laying next to his hand, there was no Sirius.

That was when Remus remembered the fact that Sirius no longer cared for him. That he hadn't been there last night and how much it had hurt, how much it was hurting. His eyes filled with tears.

"Sirius…" he whispered the name with longing and sorrow. It broke Sirius' heart to hear such a weak and sad voice coming from the boy he loved. He took off James' cloak and walked towards Remus, which the latter didn't notice.

"Remus? Remus please don't cry…" Sirius whispered comfortingly before sitting on the chair next to the bed. He started caressing the tawny hair.

"Sirius? Sirius, I'm sorry…I-" Sirius gently hushed Remus and pulled him close to him, letting the werewolf cry on his shoulder.

When Remus woke up hours later, he found the room empty, with no trace of Sirius at all.

_'but he was here…he came, he cares.'_

* * *

Remus was sitting on his bed reading, his wounds were still hurting and he could barely move, Madame Pomfrey had told him it would stop in some days, as they were deep wounds and unfortunately it would leave scars.

But even if in pain, he was still happy, thinking on what to say to Sirius when he saw him. When Sirius told him he still loved him. How it would feel to be hugged by Sirius again.

The door opened and James ran inside and towards Remus' bed.

"Hey, Rem!" He seemed happy and exited.

"Hi James, what's up?" Remus looked at him confused, didn't he still have Potions?

"Sirius was with you wasn't he? I mean he wasn't at school through the whole day and…"

"He was with me but only for a while, I fell asleep and when I woke up he wasn't there anymore. And that was hours ago."

"But I thought he would be with you, that you would've talked and maybe you were together again." James took his cloak off and sat on the bed sighing, he took his tie off and opened the first two buttons, that was when Remus saw a huge gash near his collarbone.

"James what happened?" Remus leaned over and gently touched the wound. "Did I do that?"

He knew there was no point in lying. "Yes, but it isn't that bad." He added when he saw Remus' regretful face. "I went to the hospital wing and told Pomfrey I had run into a tree while running, I don't think she bought it but she still fixed it. And don't worry, she said it'll be healed by tomorrow and it won't leave a scar."

"Tell me what happened James, how did I hurt you?"

"No Rem, you don't need to know"

"Please tell me James." Remus stared firmly at James, he sighed and started talking.

"You were biting yourself so much, I just wanted to help you and I was trying to call your attention, so I walked closer to you, you know like Sirius did before, and distract you form attacking yourself, but you didn't want anyone close so…you warned me to not get any closer by growling and when I didn't listen to you, you tried to hurt me. Still, you held back, just a scratch."

"Prongs that's not a scratch, I could've-" James caught him off.

"But you didn't. I'm actually more worried about you. How bad were your wounds? What did Pomfrey say?" James eyed the bandages on Remus' neck.

"Some were kind of deep, but nothing was permanently damaged despite the fact that it'll leave scars. She said it will stop hurting by tonight unless I re-open them or strain them too much, and they won't be completely healed for some time."

"That's good, right? I mean, at least they won't hurt."

"yeah, it's okay."

"Hey, you know what? I'll go look for Padfoot, I'll send him up here so you guys can talk, okay?" with that James ran out of the room.

* * *

"Hey Sirius!" James found Sirius on the stands of the Quiddich pitch, he was just sitting there, looking towards the pitch with a faraway look. "Hello?" James leaned down a little to get a better look of his friend's face. Sirius snapped back to reality.

"Hi." Sirius ran his hands through his hair in distress.

"Where were you all day?" James noticed his friend's misery and sat next to him.

"Here, thinking" he shrugged. James waited for Sirius to continue, but he didn't.

"So did you see Remus this morning?"

"Yeah" James was getting tired of all those short answers.

"So? did you talk? did you realize you're still in love with him?" James couldn't help feeling happy imagining Sirius' answers.

"No, we didn't talk, he was asleep and I don't love him anymore." Sirius knew he was lying but maybe if he said it enough times it would become the truth.

James' smile vanished and he stared at Sirius shocked. "But you were so worried about him and you ran to see him as soon as we came back."

"Leave me alone James." Sirius stood up and walked towards the stairs that would take him back to ground. James' voice stopped him.

"Fine, you can keep on pretending that's true. Just don't tell Remus about it. Just…I'll tell him you don't care." Sirius started walking again, with James' voice following him. "But next time Sirius, you better keep away from him, I won't allow you to pretend he matters to you and then just change your mind about it. I won't let you hurt him again."

"So you're his new guardian now? Why do you care?" Sirius didn't want James talking like he was the one who would protect Remus, like he could keep him safe. He shouldn't have to, Sirius was supposed to that. Remus should trust his safety to him, not to James.

"Because someone should!" James shook with anger, he wanted to punch Sirius so hard, he kept hurting Remus and he didn't want anyone comforting him afterwards.

"Then let it be his boyfriend!"

"Sirius, he doesn't have a boyfriend." James ran a hand through his hair in exasperation.

"So he just lets him fuck him." Sirius said it with so much spite and disgust James was sure his mother would have been proud.

"Shut up Sirius, you don't know what you're talking about." James pushed past Sirius and started walking down from the stands.

* * *

"Remus?" James walked towards the reading werewolf who looked up at him with a small smile which turned into a frown when he saw how nervous the black haired boy was.

"What's wrong James? Are you okay?" James tried to look away from his friends worried eyes, he hated to be the one who would make his eyes fill with tears. But he knew he had to do it, he couldn't let Sirius hurt the boy more by telling him he didn't love him at all.

"Rem, I…" He didn't know how to start. "Sirius, he…" James walked until he reached the werewolf and enveloped him in a hug, careful not to re open his wounds.

"James you're scaring me, what's going on?" Remus gave a little nervous laugh trying to get James to laugh with him and ease his worries. James let go of him and sighed sitting on his bed.

"Remus you know I'm your friend, right?" Remus nodded, his frown deepening. "And well, I want you to know that, you don't need Sirius to be happy. You can find someone who will love just as much and…that you'll learn to love back. I need you to know that."

"James what are you-" Before Remus could fully express his confusion Sirius barged through the door. James wanted to push him out as soon as he saw Remus' happy expression. He had told Sirius he would handle it, hadn't he? "Sirius, where-" Remus was cut off when Sirius crossed the room towards his own bed and pulled up a dog shaped toy from his bed and threw it across the room.

The toy fell to the floor, right next to Remus' bed and Remus stared at it blankly before fearfully looking back at Sirius. As soon as their eyes met Sirius looked away and started digging through his drawers, he then pulled out a metal box and threw that too. When the box hit the ground it snapped open and what seemed to be letters fell out of it, along with some pictures, he then pulled at a necklace around his neck and threw it onto Remus' bed. James sat there just looking at him stunned, Remus looked away shaking a little. Sirius just stood there looking at him.

"I understand." Remus whispered, the sorrow in his voice making Sirius' throat tighten, he gave a nod and walked out of the room, ignoring James' hateful gaze on him.

"Remus, maybe..."

"It's fine James, I'm fine." Remus attempted a weak smile. "Maybe I should rest."

"Yeah, Okay." James hesitantly stood up and closed the hangings around Remus bed. He stood next to the bed for a while waiting for the sobbing to begin but it didn't. He looked puzzled at the hangings but finally decided to just leave Remus alone.

* * *

_**A/N:**__ Sorry for taking so long to update!_

_I think the next chapter will be posted a little faster since I already started writing it._

_I hope you liked this chapter!_

_Also, I wanted to ask you, would you rather have long chapters and wait a while longer or have more frequent but shorter chapters?_

_Thanks for reading this, please review if you can :)_

_**-XxFallingxAngelxX**_

_**P.S.: **I know I said it would all get interesting in this chapter and I know it didn't much, but it'll happen on the next one._


	7. It's Over

_**Disclaimer:**__ I don't own Harry Potter or its characters._

_**Warnings:**__ Slash (RL/SB), Rape, Cutting, etc._

**

* * *

**

**Just Believe Me**

James leaned down and started picking all the things Sirius had thrown to the floor, putting all the letters and pictures back in the box. He took everything to his bed and started looking through it. He took the stuffed dog first. He had seen Sirius sleeping with it few times in the last days, and even before the boy always had taken great care of it. Sitting it perfectly still on his bed, putting it away before any pillow fights started so no one would accidently throw it.

He put it next to his pillow and started looking at the contents of the box. There were five pictures inside, the rest were all letters. The first one had Remus sitting with Sirius under the willow near the lake. He was leaning against his chest with Sirius' legs on both sides of him, the Sirius in the picture alternated between hugging him tightly and nuzzling his neck. James smiled at Remus' happy face, he kept smiling and laughing at Sirius' antics.

The next one was one of Remus sleeping. He had fallen asleep on one of the armchairs in the common room, a book laying on his lap. He seemed peaceful and content, it brought a warm feeling on James' chest, which was probably why Sirius had kept it. Remus rarely seemed so peaceful, he was always worrying over something or other. The third one was a picture of the group minus Peter, so James guessed he was the one taking the picture, they were all laying around on the grass, James smiling at the camera, Sirius was laughing at something Remus must've said, and the sandy haired boy was looking at Sirius with dreamy eyes. James imagined that by that time they weren't a couple yet, so it must have been the beginning of fourth year. How had they waited so long to admit they liked each other? Looking back, their feelings seemed to have been there by the beginning of third year.

He passed to the fourth picture, in that one Remus was sitting reading a book on a couch and Sirius was laying with his head in Remus' lap, Remus was caressing his hair softly, he leaned down to kiss his forehead but Sirius leaned up before he could and stole the kiss from the werewolf's lips, both of them smiled afterwards. James could remember that day, he had sneaked up on them and taken that picture. He had planned on framing it and giving it to them as a gift or something, but Sirius had found it before he could and had begged him to give it to him until he had agreed.

The last one was a picture of Remus and another boy. James was surprises that the other boy wasn't Sirius. He looked at the picture for a while, trying to see if he could decipher who he was. They were sitting in a pair of swings, swaying a little, both smiling at the camera, sometimes talking between them or laughing. Remus seemed carefree and at ease. Maybe that was why Sirius had kept the picture, their friend looked happy, that and Remus must've had a very good explanation. After all the young animagus was a very jealous kind of boyfriend, if he had seen a threat on the boy, he would have surely thrown the picture away and would have been sulking for months about it. He put the pictures on the bed and tried to guess which could be the one that had come with the picture attached. He looked around and soon saw a bigger envelope than the rest, the picture would have come in that one, since it was the right size.

He pulled the letter out and started skimming through it. Not wanting to intrude even more, he just jumped to the unknown name written there.

…_Fine, fine, enough senseless ranting. I know you're dying to know who the boy on the picture is. His name's Daniel Radin, I wish you would meet him. (I think you'd like him, he's awesome) I sent you a picture so you know I'm having a good time, and also to introduce you to him, even if it is not directly. He's one of my best friends and a big enough part of my life that I want you to meet him (You better not be getting jealous, you know I'll only ever love you.) he's like my brother, I've known him since I was like 3. His family stood by us even when I got bitten, they didn't just move away, even if they knew what I was. I know what you're thinking, 'if they knew they must be wizards, then he'd go to Hogwarts' Unfortunately he's a squib, so he can't go to Hogwarts so you won't be able to meet him anytime soon. I hope the picture's good enough for now…_

James chose to stop there, finding no need in reading the rest of it. He picked the picture again. So he was the friend Remus was staying with. He must've been planning on telling Sirius about his parents kicking him out, so he actually knew who he was living with before telling him. The boy seemed nice enough. Besides James couldn't really imagine anything less if the boy and his family had let Remus stay at their home when he had been thrown out of his own house.

He looked at the other letters, he knew that he shouldn't mess with those ones, they were probably very personal. He moved them around for a while, but finally just closed the box and put it in a drawer in his nightstand. He looked back at Remus' bed before taking his broom and leaving the room.

* * *

He was numb to everything but the pain in his chest, he didn't feel the tears, how cold he was, he couldn't hear his ragged breath or the door closing as James left the room, he didn't see anything besides the necklace in his bed, everything had faded around him. There was just the feeling of his heart trying to keep beating despite the hurt, the desperation, despite the feeling of not wanting to keep on going.

Sirius had officially finished everything they had ever had. He was erasing any emotional attachment to Remus, now he was only another student to Sirius, maybe even less. Before he had hoped Sirius would still love him somehow, but now…

He tried to move, to do something that would make his body feel something that wouldn't be that horrible sensation in his heart, but as soon as he moved he felt pain course through his body, his wounds had stretched making him wince and settle down again. That pain, it had stopped the other one, made it less important. He looked at the bandage on his arm, he could see some blood stains getting past the white fabric.

The pain was returning, he had to stop it, to make it vanish, if only for a moment. He looked at his arm again, it had stopped it before, he could make it go away again. His throat was tightening again, his heart was screaming for Sirius to come back. Without thinking he lifted his right hand and used it to clutch his left forearm harshly, the blood stains grew, and Remus hissed in pain.

* * *

Sirius practically ran to the astronomy tower, he threw the door open and let himself fall on the floor leaning against the railing. He hugged his knees to his chest and tried to catch his breath. He was confused, he didn't understand Remus at all. Why had he looked so broken? He didn't love Sirius, he had made that clear by sleeping with Malfoy. Then why did it affect him so much to see Sirius end their relationship? He had found someone new, he didn't need Sirius.

It wasn't fair, it wasn't okay for Remus to keep hurting him. If the werewolf kept showing Sirius tears and pain the black haired boy's heart would break further apart.

* * *

_**A/N:**__ I'm sorry for making you wait so much, but I've been really busy, first I went on a study trip with my whole class and now I'm on my final exams, so I couldn't write much. But you know what finals mean right? I'll have way more time to write in a week from now, so please don't hate me, I swear I'll update more then._

_Tell me what you thought about this chapter, even if it was short._

_I'll be updating soon, don't worry too much ^^_

_**-XxFallingxAngelxX**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**Disclaimer:**__ I don't own Harry Potter or its characters._

_**Warnings:**__ Slash (RL/SB), Rape, Cutting, etc. _

* * *

**Just Believe Me**

Remus was sitting on the stands of the quiddich pitch. It had been two weeks since Sirius had kicked him out of his life and Remus had already gotten tired of James' worried glances and Peter's questions. He had left early in the morning so that James wouldn't follow him; his friend meant well, but Remus needed to be alone for a while.

He had gone there to read for a while but he had gotten distracted, now he was just reflecting. He knew he shouldn't have left the common room, Malfoy could still be lurking around, but he just wanted to be somewhere else for a while, where he wouldn't remember Sirius so much. He never really went to the quiddich pitch before, except sometimes to watch the matches in which Sirius played. Still this was better than being in the dorm where they had fought or in the common room where they cuddled, or under any tree that would remind him of their first kiss. The library, astronomy tower, the shack, they were all the wrong places. The best choice was up here, even if it triggered memories of Sirius they weren't so powerful, just some glimpses of Sirius on his broom. No touches, kisses, or hugs, just crowds and a game that he didn't completely understand. He didn't want to be all alone and in such an exposed place, but he was sick of staying on his dorm and crowds made him extremely nervous.

Remus still hadn't been able to escape from the nightmares. Every night he dreamt about Malfoy, waking up scared and crying. After every dream he would slowly crawl out of his bed, trying not to make any noise. He would walk towards Sirius' bed and kneel so he could look into Sirius' beautiful face. He sometimes brushed some of the fallen strands away from his face, sometimes he took Sirius' hand and held it to his cheek, leaning into the touch that he missed so much, usually though he just sat and stared at what he had lost, tears falling down his cheeks until dawn came.

He wanted to tell Sirius what happened, he wanted to crawl into his boyfriend's arms and cry into his chest, but Sirius wouldn't allow it; he wouldn't even look at Remus. He was no longer his boyfriend and he had no comfort to offer, at least not to the werewolf. Everyday Remus wondered how everything would've turned out if he had just been stronger, if he was smarter, if he was someone better… He broke away from his thoughts when he heard a strong splash coming from the lake, the giant squid was a bit restless today. He had jumped a little at the noise, but managed to stop himself from giving what would've been a very embarrassing yelp. He sighed and got back to his reading until he was interrupted again.

"Hey"

Remus looked up at the greeting, Ryan Edwards was walking towards him, wearing muggle clothes and a smile on his face.

"Hi" Remus hesitantly smiled back. He placed his book aside as the older boy sat next to him.

"Odd finding you here. You're always around the lake." Edwards smiled at him again.

"It seemed calm so I came to read." Remus looked away shyly. "What about you?"

"I just wanted to fly for a while, I didn't know I'd have an audience though." He smiled again at Remus, who this time smiled back.

"Thanks for helping me the other day, Edwards…" Remus blushed at the other boy's stare. Edwards sat next to him, still flashing that charming smile.

"I told you that it was nothing, and call me Ryan, okay?" He pushed away some hair that had fallen over Remus' eyes. Remus felt somewhat scared at the touch, but he managed to hide it. He blushed a little at the attention he was receiving. He wasn't used to people talking to him like that, the only one who ever did it was Sirius. Remus shook his head, trying to get rid of his thoughts about the black haired boy. "Are you okay Remus? You seem to be a little sad lately." Ryan now looked a little worried.

The werewolf looked at the older boy not knowing what to say. "I-I'm fine…I've just been a little distracted lately."

Edwards touched his hand softly, making Remus tense. He tried to remind himself that Ryan wasn't a threat, but physical contact still made him nervous, but the boy didn't try anything else, he only kept looking into Remus' eyes, making the werewolf nervous.

"I'm here if you need anything." Ryan whispered to him tightening his hold on Remus' hand before letting go and standing up. "I'm going to the changing rooms, I'll see you later." Ryan gave him another charming smile before walking away. He was well build and Remus couldn't help but think about how nice his eyes were, especially when he smiled and they seemed to sparkle.

"Thanks Ryan." Remus' voice was soft but the Quiddich player still looked back at him, winking at him. Remus only smiled and looked away, blushing.

After Ryan had left Remus mentally cursed himself for the lack of social skills he had just displayed, hoping Ryan didn't think he was a total weirdo. He sighed realizing he was in no position to even think about how handsome the other boy was. For one he was totally scared of even holding someone's hand, he could never have a relationship with someone else besides, he still loved Sirius it would be unfair if he tricked Ryan into thinking otherwise. He had liked being the receiving end of Edwards charm, but he knew he couldn't pursue anything with the older boy.

"Hey Remus." He looked up at the cheerful greeting, Lily Evans approached him. "I finally found you!" Remus didn't know that she had been looking for him, and looked at her confused as to what she could want, which apparently showed on his face since she soon explained it. "I just wanted to talk to you, I haven't seen you in a long time, I wanted to know what's new with you."

"Not much Lily, I haven't done anything interesting for a while."

She sat next to him and smiled at him knowingly. "Well, I just saw Edwards coming down the stairs, and he seemed to be pretty happy, I'm guessing you gave him that smile didn't you?" Remus just chuckled and blushed a little, he didn't want to comment on it since Ryan was probably just thinking of how dorky Remus had behaved."Are you two…dating?" Lily looked at him with a smirk on her lips.

"No, no I- he just…" Remus didn't know how to answer, the question had left him astonished, why would Ryan even want to date him? He was the quiddich captain, there was no way he would date a bookworm like him.

"Yeah, are you two dating?" Both werewolf and redhead turned to find Sirius and James standing at the entrance of the stand. It had been Sirius who had sneered the question.

"No, we're not dating." Remus shuffled awkwardly looking away from Sirius. Lily looked at him oddly, but fortunately James adverted their attention.

"Hey Evans, did you come to see me fly? Finally admitting that you're madly in love with me?" Lily angrily huffed, looking away from James, missing the short longing look Remus gave Sirius to which Sirius responded with a glare.

"So why are you here then, Lupin?" Remus felt a strong stab at his heart at hearing his last name, Sirius had never used his surname to address him before. The environment was tense as Lily looked between both boys and then turned to James inquiringly. The stag animagus only looked at her briefly before looking back at Remus encouragingly, he could see how hurt the werewolf was because of Sirius' angry words.

"I just…I just came here to read." Remus was shaking but Sirius' didn't stop glaring at him.

"So now it's Edwards, huh? Malfoy wasn't enough for you?" The smaller boy looked up at Sirius with pain in his blue eyes. "You really can't keep your pants on, can you?" Sirius was implying that, that he was sleeping with Ryan, like he would actually seek the other boy for sex. James stepped up and stood next to Sirius, taking hold of his arm and angrily told him to stop it.

Lily was surprised that Sirius would talk to his friend like that, she looked at Remus heartbroken expression and angrily stood up. "How can you say that? Remus would never-!" Lily was interrupted by the sound of a soft sob behind her. She turned to see Remus clenching his eyes shut he looked like he was about to cry.

James quickly walked up to him, sitting next to the smaller boy and gently placing his hand on Remus' shoulder, but the blue eyed boy stood up quickly and gave a soft and shaky "I-I'll see you later Lily…" before running away from the stands, the redhead was sure that she had seen tears falling down Remus' cheeks and she wanted nothing more than to run after her friend, but she could see that her company wasn't desired.

"How could you do that Sirius?" James turned to the other boy, his voice was soft and resentful, he seemed extremely disappointed in his friend. "Did you see his face? He was so hurt…"

Sirius only looked away and walked towards the exit, through the opposite side Remus had taken. Lily looked at James, he was sitting on the bench, looking dejected.

"What happened? Why did Sirius treat Remus like that?" Lily had thought that they were friends, but Sirius had been so cruel…

"I can't tell you Lily…I'm sorry." James stood up and walked away, leaving her alone on the stands. Her heart was throbbing painfully, the image of Remus so pained was still fresh in her mind.

* * *

Remus ran back to the Gryffindor tower, his eyes were still full of tears but at least they weren't falling anymore. He could still feel the hate that came from Sirius, he could still feel his hurtful words piercing at his heart.

How could Sirius even believe that Remus would behave like that? That he would actively seek males so he could sleep with them? But then again he was a whore…anyone would expect him to do so, it would be weird for him not to follow boys around and try to sleep with them.

Remus ran to the bathroom and locked himself in there. He didn't want to burden his roommates, it was enough that they had to deal with him in regular basis, now they had to deal with a crying boy too? It wasn't fair to them.

His wounds had healed, but he had learned how to replace them, the comfort that pain brought was worth it. The pocket knife dragging across his skin took him away from everything, away from his problems and painful feelings, it made him feel alive, yet it took him away from his life.

It was the only thing that could help him right now. Without Sirius he felt empty, James tried, but he couldn't help him like his boyfriend would have. He knew that Sirius wasn't going to take him back but...he still wished he would. He didn't want to keep seeing Sirius' beautiful gray eyes filled with hate and anger towards him, he wanted everything to go back to how it was.

* * *

Sirius couldn't believe what was happening to him, how could've he treated Remus like that? The guy he had loved since his third year…the guy he still couldn't stop thinking about. Even if he didn't want to see Remus with anyone else, he shouldn't have treated him the way he did today…it was despicable. He had just felt so angry, when he heard Lily asking if Remus was dating Edwards if Remus was the one that had given the Quiddich captain a smile…

He wanted to catch up with the older boy and beat him into a pulp. How could've Remus moved up already? Was he that easy to forget?

It hurt to see Remus up there, he had almost never gone to see Sirius while he was practicing, he had only gone once and he had literally had to beg Remus to go with him, now he went with Edwards without even being the older boy's boyfriend for even a month…it was a horrible realization. He hadn't meant as much to Remus as Remus meant to him…

If only Remus hadn't cheated, if he hadn't broken Sirius heart…Remus could be with him right now, being held by the pureblood…

* * *

_**A/N:** So so sorry for taking so long, I don't really have an excuse except for…I got disconnected from Harry Potter and I didn't feel inspired to write, but I'll work on this story harder ok? I'll try to update by next week. (Sorry this was kinda short, I'm trying to get back on track.)_

_Anyway, I hope you don't hate me, and if you do I don't blame you, I was a very bad author :(_

**_-XxFallingxAngelxX_**


	9. Chapter 9

_**Disclaimer:**__ I don't own Harry Potter or its characters._

_**Warnings:**__ Slash (RL/SB), Rape, Cutting, etc. _

a/n: Umm…I don't know if you'll understand the time spans, but just to be sure the first part kind of happens at the same time then the second…kind of overlapping but still mostly after the second…you'll get it when you read it; I hope :)

* * *

**Just Believe Me**

"I'm sick of all of this Sirius, stop tormenting Remus already!" James stood next to his friend's bed, staring annoyed at the dog animagus who just kept reading his quiddich magazine. "He's had enough!"

"Maybe you should tell him to stop sleeping with everyone who's available and then I wouldn't call him a whore."

"He's not sleeping with anyone and it's none of your business anyway, he's got nothing to do with you anymore." James could see how the words affected Sirius, he tensed up and stood, annoyed and angry.

"You're right." Sirius's voice was soft and quiet. Even if it hurt, Sirius couldn't argue, it was true he had no connection to Remus now, he wasn't even a friend anymore. "I actually don't care at all, it just annoys me that he goes around the whole school, just… whoring himself. Why can't he at least wait to get a room?"

"Whatever Sirius, just stay away from him and find someone else to torture, okay?" James turned and walked out of the room, leaving Sirius to hate himself for talking about Remus like that. He didn't want to keep being so angry, he wanted to hit himself every time he called Remus a whore.

On top of it all his brain kept providing images and scenarios to torture him. He kept picturing Remus with other guys, doing everything they did together; it hurt him to think about Remus kissing Malfoy or hugging Ryan. Sitting with other boys under the willow near the lake or whispering sweet nothings in the astronomy tower.

He didn't want to think about the werewolf anymore, even seeing him near James made him feel awfully jealous and it was killing him inside that he couldn't even fight for the boy he loved. He had to pretend that he didn't care anymore.

The door suddenly opened and a tearful Remus came walking inside, he didn't seem to notice Sirius at first but as soon as he saw the taller marauder he stopped and stared at him with scared eyes. Sirius looked away and Remus walked hastily towards his own bed, sniffling softly. The silence in the room was awkward as Remus climbed to his bed and started pulling the drapes.

Sirius stared as Remus struggled to pull the curtains closed with his shaking hands. "Are you okay?" Remus seemed startled because of the question, but Sirius hadn't been able to stop his concern, even if he was supposed to hate the tawny haired boy.

Remus only nodded, giving Sirius a small thankful smile, before turning and closing the drapes around his bed. Sirius sighed at hearing the soft sobbing that came from the bed; he had seen how fake Remus' smile had been, he seemed in so much pain. Soon the room was quiet again, making Sirius realize that Remus had put a silencing spell around his bed.

Sirius wanted to comfort Remus, but he couldn't bring himself to do it, so he just sat in his bed trying to clear his thoughts from tearful eyes and fake smiles.

* * *

The past night he had dreamt with Malfoy. In his dream the Slytherin had sneaked into his dorm room and was forcefully kissing him, trying to repeat what he had done before. Remus had managed to pull away and call for help.

He almost cried in joy when Sirius approached his bed; he thought that this time Sirius would help him, he hadn't though. The Black heir had only looked at him with disgust and left the room, muttering about how much of a slut Remus was; he had woken up crying, sobbing pathetically into his pillows and trying to pretend that Sirius' presence wouldn't make everything better. He hadn't been able to sleep after that, he could barely sleep since Malfoy had attacked him.

Now he was mindlessly walking around the castle trying to dissipate his thoughts, he wanted to stop cutting and harming himself just to get a little bit of peace. James had started noticing that the wounds he had never seemed to heal and the constant blood stains on the sleeves of his shirts were causing his friend to look at him suspiciously. Remus knew it was wrong, it wasn't normal even if it felt good, even if it made the pain subside.

He wasn't succeeding in distracting himself though, he was already starting to miss cutting. This didn't make him numb, it just made him nervous and on edge. Every time he saw a flash of blonde hair he felt his heart speed up and tears rise to his eyes; every time he bumped into someone he gave a small jump. He felt like any human contact would harm him.

Finally Remus realized he was doing more damage than good and chose to return to the Gryffindor common room, at least there he could find a seat and try to read. As he was walking back he suddenly felt a hand on his arm, which pulled him back into a classroom.

He turned around to find Malfoy smirking at him. The werewolf started struggling as soon as he saw the blonde. Still, even if he tried, he wasn't strong enough, the fact that he hadn't been eating or sleeping much only added to how weak he was.

"Let me go!" Remus could feel the tears coming. His voice sounded desperate and it only seemed to make his tormentor's smile bigger. "Please Malfoy, just leave me alone!"

"Shhh.." He leaned close to Remus, pressing his chest to the smaller boy's. "Calm down and I'll think about letting you go." He leaned close and kissed Remus' cheek since the werewolf had moved his lips to the side, desperate to avoid the contact. "Besides, I silenced the room, no one will hear you anyway." Remus slumped against the door, he didn't know how he would escape.

"What do you want Malfoy?" Remus sounded tired, defeated and sad, it made Malfoy smirk.

"I want you." The blonde nuzzled Remus' neck, making him shiver, he hated to have Malfoy so close. "I want to own you, to do whatever I want with you." Malfoy pressed his body to Remus' nipping the boy's neck.

"Let me go!" Remus tried pushing him away again but it was to no avail. Malfoy's words scared him, he wouldn't be able to take being used by the boy again.

"Don't worry pet, I won't play with you today." Malfoy gave an amused laugh at the way Remus' eyes filled with tears.

"Please Malfoy just leave me alone…"

"I don't think so, you're too cute when you're crying." Malfoy had leaned over to whisper in his ear. "I bet Black thinks the same, after all, he just loves making you cry doesn't he?"

Remus could feel a tear making its way down his cheek, the Slytherin's words made him remember every unkind word, every insult Sirius had thrown his way. He hated what their relationship had become. Remus used to believe they would be together forever, that they were meant to be, now Sirius couldn't even look at him.

"He doesn't care about you Remus." Malfoy spoke with a fake voice of concern. "He can't give you what you want, not like I can." The blonde had that evil smirk again and Remus turned his head away.

"I don't want anything from you Malfoy." Remus' voice was still soft but the words made the smug Slytherin angry.

"Well right now I'm the only one who's willing to give you anything, aren't I?"

"No, Sirius will…he'll love me again, soon he'll forget that he hates me and…" Remus trailed off knowing how desperate and pathetic he words sounded. Besides, even he knew it was a lie, Sirius would never love him again.

"Thought so." Malfoy leaned again and started kissing Remus' jaw, feeling the werewolf pull away again. He leaned slightly away growling in anger. "Well, how about this: either you're mine or your precious ex boyfriend is."

Remus tensed at that, looking at Malfoy with fear in his eyes. He couldn't let Sirius suffer through what he had, he loved Sirius he had to protect him. Sirius may be stronger than he was but Malfoy would probably get a few of his friends to help and then Sirius would be as broken as he is. Remus couldn't let that happen, he loved the black haired boy, he couldn't let Malfoy hurt Sirius.

"Besides, imagine what his family would think if they find out he's been sneaking around with a mud blood whore." Remus flinched at the description of himself. He knew Sirius would agree, he would probably add his own insults now.

Sirius had had problems with his family for years now, something like this would make them kick him out. Remus' family had reacted bad to him being gay, Sirius' would not only disown him, they might even hurt the pureblood heir.

"No! Please don't hurt Sirius! Please…I'll, I'll be yours just…_please_." Remus could already imagine all the consequences Sirius could suffer if his family knew. Not to mention, it broke his heart to think about Sirius with the bruises he had gotten from Malfoy. The image of Sirius as hurt as he had been made the tears fall down his face. Sirius should never have to endure what he had.

Malfoy leaned fast, catching Remus' lips in a hard kiss. Remus refused to open his mouth to let the blonde's tongue in, but the older boy only chuckled about it. He then pulled away looking at the frightened boy with a possessive look. "Should I give you a demonstration of what I can do to your pretty lover?"

Remus shook his head leaning towards Malfoy and kissing him. The blonde laughed after pulling away. He finally let go of Remus' arms and stepped back.

"I'll tell you when we can have more fun." The blonde's whisper made Remus flinch. He didn't want to even be close to the guy, how was he supposed to pretend he liked him?

Malfoy walked out of the room while Remus only dropped to the ground, pulling his knees close to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. He didn't want to be Malfoy's pet, he didn't want to kiss the boy or feel the Slytherin's hands on him. It had been his nightmares for weeks now and it would only get worse.

* * *

Sirius left the dorm as soon as soon as he realized he wouldn't be going to help Remus. He needed to find someone new to love, he couldn't keep thinking about Remus all day long, he had to move on.

He got to the common room looking around for someone who could catch his eye.

* * *

**A/N:** Sorry for the delay guys, I just have so much stories to update that sometimes I neglect some of them :(

Anyway, the plot thickens! o.o hopefully you liked this chapter, I know it was short but I didn't want to mix too much and the next chapter should definitely be separated so…sorry.

Also, if there's any mistakes, I'm sorry I kind of rushed in the editing and stuff :S

I'll try to update fast, ok? :P

_**-XxFallingxAngelxX**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**Disclaimer:**__ I don't own Harry Potter or its characters._

_**Warnings:**__ Slash (RL/SB), Rape, Cutting, etc. _

a/n: just like 3 chapters to go XD unless I find something cool to add :S

* * *

**Just Believe Me**

Remus had thought that his heart was too broken to feel anything anymore but apparently he had been horribly wrong. He was now feeling what he could only assume was millions of needles digging into his chest. I was excruciating to just sit there and stare as Sirius flirted with the blonde sixth year. The girl was very pretty, with perfect blonde hair, bright green eyes and a flawless skin. She was everything he wasn't. His body wasn't anything special, a little skinny and too bony. His skin was littered with scars and there was a lot to be desired about the rest of him. She was tall, well endowed and unblemished. He couldn't compare to her, she was what Sirius deserved, Remus had only been what Sirius had been kind enough to play with.

Remus wasn't going to ever get Sirius back, not if the boy had a girl like that. He knew Sirius didn't care at all for him now, but seeing him moving on was just too much, Remus would not survive it. The worst part was knowing that while someone kissed and laughed with the pureblood, he had to wake up from terrifying nightmares and to cry alone.

Of course James would be there if Remus needed him, but it wasn't enough. James didn't hug him like Sirius used to, he wouldn't hold him through the night to make sure he wasn't having nightmares like Sirius had done for him before and James most certainly would kiss him and make him forget about everything like Sirius could always do. Besides, he didn't want to bother James anymore, he had his own life and problems to deal with and he shouldn't be burdened with Remus' too.

He wanted to be happy for Sirius, he really did but it was too hard, there was no way he could be able to smile while he watched the blonde perched on Sirius' lap, giggling and caressing the grey eyed boy's cheek. Sirius' perfect smiles and hugs used to belong to him and now he had to get used to watching them being delivered to someone else.

"Hey Remus." Remus jumped when he heard Lily's voice, he hadn't heard anyone to approach him. Though his surprise was to be expected with how hard he was concentrating on not letting his tears fall.

"Hi Lily, I hadn't seen you there." He smiled at the redhead, but by the way her own smile fell he was sure he hadn't managed the task very well.

"Are you okay? You look like you're about to cry." Lily sat on an armchair next to him. He had been sitting far away from the crowd, hidden near a corner so there were plenty empty seats.

"I'm fine Lily, but thanks." Remus glanced back towards Sirius only to find him kissing the blonde girl passionately. He winced at the sight, he could still remember the feeling of kissing Sirius. His ex-boyfriend had always been so gentle and careful towards him and now he was giving that care to someone else, it made Remus' eyes fill with tears again.

"Ugh, Black always making a big show of everything he does! He can't just go somewhere else to kiss his girlfriend."

"Do you know her? Is she nice?"

"She's kind of superficial and she thinks she's better than anyone else, hopefully Sirius will help her be a little nicer to others. He may not be my favorite person but at least he's not stuck up." Lily shrugged, clearly not very interested in the subject. "Anyway, Remus I wanted to ask you about that weird thing the other day…did you have a fight with Black or something?"

"No, it's just…I have to go Lily, I need- I need to find James." Remus stood and ran out of the room, tears already falling from his eyes. Sirius had pulled away from the girl and was now brushing some bangs out of her face as she giggled with fake coyness. He couldn't keep watching Sirius being in love without himself being part of it.

"Remus wait!" Lily didn't know if she should follow him or give him some space. She finally just sat down sighing, she really wanted to help, she hated seeing Remus so sad, but without the whole story it seemed like she couldn't do much. Hopefully James would be able to fix everything.

* * *

Remus ran out of the common room, without really knowing where he was going. He knew James wasn't in their dorm so he would go to the only place James went whenever he didn't feel like being around a crowd.

He ran outside and towards the quiddich pitch, trying to calm his tears and knowing that James would be worried for him if he saw him like that. Remus wanted someone who could understand what he was going through. He couldn't talk about all of this with Lily, she would look at him differently, it would be uncomfortable and she would pity him. He didn't want that and it would be impossible for him to say everything anyways, he wouldn't be able to narrate everything, he would break down at the middle and cry until the tears finally ran out.

The werewolf could stop his loud sobbing but the tears kept falling. He looked up and he could see James' silhouette on the sky, but he really didn't want to stop James' fun. He had ruined a lot for James already, he had woke him up a lot of times, he had cried in many of the animagus' shirts and he had made the boy end his friendship with his best friend.

Remus walked towards one of the tall bleachers and leaned against the wall. He would stay there until James finished training.

"Remus? Remus wake up…" There was someone shaking him and trying to get his attention. He woke up confused and cold. He looked up to find James smiling gently at him. "How did you get out here Rem?"

"I don't know…I just-" Remus suddenly remembered everything and he could feel his eyes filling with tears. He didn't want to explain everything though so he just looked up at James with a shaky smile. "I was just feeling a little lonely…" James smiled back with some worry and held out his hand to help pull Remus to his feet.

"Lily was very worried for you today." James put an arm around Remus as they made their way back to the castle. "She thinks something might be wrong. Don't you want to tell her what's wrong?"

"No, she just…she wouldn't understand and…I don't know I just don't want anyone else to know."

"You shouldn't be ashamed of anything Remus, you're a victim, you didn't ask for any of this to happen to you." James rubbed his arm, trying to be comforting while talking about Remus worst memory.

The words didn't make him feel any better though, not when he knew he had agreed to be Malfoy's dirty pleasure just the day before. What could be said of him now? It's not your fault you're a disgusting whore? It killed Remus to know that was true.

"Thanks James…" Remus leaned against his friend as they walked back to the Gryffindor Tower. He wanted to just wake up and find out all of this had been a nightmare, he wanted it all to just an illusion and for him to be fine again. He wanted Sirius to love him again. Everything just kept getting worse and worse and he didn't know how to stop it.

They walked into the room to find it almost empty, Remus realized he must've been out on the field for a long time. As they made their way inside James stopped walking suddenly. Remus looked up at him to find him staring at something to their right. He followed his line of sight until he found Sirius still with that girl, now they were sitting on the loveseat near the fireplace. The pureblood looked at them and glared before leaning forward and pressing his lips to the girl's passionately.

James gave a growl and started hurrying towards the steps to the dorms, pulling Remus with him.

* * *

"I can't believe him, he saw us and he still kissed her! I can't believe he would actually try to hurt you." James was pacing the dorm, making wild hand gestures and looking like he wanted to kill Sirius. Their other dorm mates weren't around and Remus assumed they had gotten caught up in a chess game and were staying down at the common room for a while.

"It's okay James, we've already broken up…" Remus' voice was soft and tired. It was true, he had no reason to be mad, but he still felt like crying.

"Why aren't you more worked up over this?" James walked towards him, looking confused.

"They were together earlier too, before I went outside." Remus looked away from James seeing his expression shift as he came to realize why Remus had really gone looking for him. "I guess I came to terms with it." It wasn't really true, Remus still felt extreme anguish over it, but the tears weren't coming. His heart refused to cry about it right now. He had cried earlier and he would cry later, he didn't want James to be any more worried about him, he wasn't worth it.

"Why didn't you tell me?" James seemed guilty, he had noticed something was wrong, he should have cared more about and asked what was bothering Remus.

"I didn't want to bother you…" Remus started playing with a loose thread on his bedspread, he didn't want to look at James in the eyes.

"It's not a bother Remus, I want to help you, you're my friend and I love you like my brother you know that." James sat next to Remus on his bed, putting a hand on the smaller boy's shoulder. "And just for the record, that girl will never help Sirius to move on from you, she's an ugly toad next to you."

Remus laughed at James' words, his friend sometime was a little too blunt. "Thank you James, that means a lot." Remus gave James a little hug and a smile afterwards

"Well, I'm just being honest so…" The animagus shrugged and then stood up. "Anyway, I should go shower." Remus nodded and James picked his pajamas before going to the bathroom.

Remus jumped slightly when he heard knocking on the window. He looked up to see a white owl standing outside. It was big and beautiful but it's eyes were sharp and it looked like a predator. He stood up and opened the window, knowing it was carrying a letter. The owl landed on his bed and extended its leg, Remus immediately reaching for the letter attached to it.

The owl flew out of the window again as Remus opened the letter. He dropped the letter as soon as he saw who it was from. The signature was on the bottom and Remus' eyes had jumped to it as soon as he could see the message. It was Malfoy's.

Remus shakily picked it up again, only to find what he had been dreading, a short direction of where to wait for the blonde and a lewd promise that they would have 'fun'.

Remus sat on the bed and let the silent tears fall. He didn't want to go. He wished he could just hide in his bed but he didn't want anything bad happening to Sirius. He didn't even want to imagine the damage that Malfoy would cause just to teach Remus a lesson. He had to go, he had to do it for Sirius, do everything Malfoy wanted if only to save his ex boyfriend from pain. He took a deep breath and pressed the still healing scars on his arm, trying to forget about his stress and just go meet Malfoy. The pain helped him get to his feet and make his way to the door, it wasn't enough to numb him, but it did shut up his brain a little.

He knew he was being the most disgusting person to be actually going to meet Malfoy but he would do it if it meant Sirius was fine, he would do anything for him. After all Sirius may not love him anymore, but Remus still loved Sirius more than he loved himself.

* * *

**A/N:** Hey guys, sorry for the delay but I haven't been updating any stories lately, so it wasn't just this one. I've been having some life problems and I just couldn't find the time, but I know that you could care less about them so I'm really sorry, I hope you aren't too mad :(

Anyway, sorry for short chapter but I didn't want to mix up too much things in this chapter so…it had to be a short one :/

Thanks for the fantastic reviews you gave me for the last chapter (you make me smile so much and I just love you, my readers ^^) and I hope you liked this chapter :P

**-_XxFallingxAngelxX_**

_p.s.: if there's any 'young justice' fans reading this, please check out my other stories, I've got tons of YJ stuff :)_


	11. Chapter 11

_**Disclaimer:**__ I don't own Harry Potter or its characters._

_**Warnings:**__ Slash (RL/SB), Rape, Cutting, etc._

* * *

**Just Believe Me**

He looked so sad. Sirius could see Remus sitting leaning against a tree. The werewolf was sitting calmly on the, smiling softly at the ground. Remus looked thin, pale and Sirius could see the smile was pained. Sirius was scared for his ex-boyfriend, he was losing weight and he looked scared all the time, something was wrong. Remus shouldn't be suffering so much, a breakup shouldn't damage a person like this. Remus had to be hurting from something else. Sirius couldn't be hurting him this much, those tears Remus seemed to permanently have now…Sirius wanted to get rid of them, he never wanted to see them again on Remus' eyes.

Why wasn't James doing anything? He was always asking Remus if he was okay, trying to help but it wasn't enough. The quiddich player backed off every time after Remus gave him a short answer, he seemed to know what was wrong but at the same time James didn't know. Sirius knew Remus and whatever was happening to harm him this much would be enough to have James going to Dumbledore and going nuts over the source.

This wasn't something James could solve by just nodding and giving Remus a hug. It was all James did when he questioned the werewolf and it wasn't enough, James wasn't stopping the pain, he wasn't doing enough.

"Sirius? What are you doing?" James' voice made Sirius jump, turning fast and startled.

"Uh…nothing." Sirius cleared his throat, trying to get rid of the hoarse and nervous tone in his voice. "I was just leaving."

James grabbed his wrist, pulling him back a bit. "Wait Sirius…he'd really like it if you talked to him." Sirius sighed and shook his head.

"I don't have anything to say to him." He tried to make his tone cold and uncaring but to him it just sounded lonely and sad.

"Please? I can't help, I've tried and…I-I'm not enough I can't help him and I'm worried." Sirius turned feeling James' voice cracking with future tears. He looked beyond worried and so desperate Sirius couldn't help but wonder how deep Remus' troubles were. "Come on, he'd listen to you, he…he'll be so happy to see you."

"I don't think so James." Sirius pulled his arm away from James' grip. He didn't even know how to talk to Remus he'd probably end up looking like an idiot, Remus would think he was such a fool.

"He's been crying so much, he's eyes are always a bit red and his hands are always shaking…Please Sirius, I don't know what to do anymore, I don't know how to help."

Sirius didn't need James to tell him how sad Remus looked he had seen it and it scared him too. "I'll go talk to him."

James took a deep breath and let it out nodding, looking relieved. "Thank you."

"It's okay." Sirius walked towards Remus, trying to find something to say to the smaller boy.

* * *

"Hey…" Remus jumped as he suddenly heard a voice behind him. He was sitting near the forbidden forest, leaning against a tree trying to forget about how wrong his life had turned out.

"Oh, Sirius you scared me." Remus tried to get the fright get out of his racing heart.

"Shouldn't you go back inside? It's cold out here." Sirius shifted on his feet, trying not to feel awkward. He was so nervous about even facing Remus, he felt like running away. Then Remus smiled up at him and he didn't feel like being anywhere else.

"I was actually thinking about it, maybe in a few minutes, thanks Sirius." Remus was blushing slightly, being near Sirius again made him feel like a girl with a crush. It was embarrassing being like this again, he had stopped being so bashful around Sirius when they started dating and now it was all back.

"Umm… okay, then." Sirius shifted in his feet wanting to run away but knowing he couldn't he could just leave Remus like that. He turned to see Remus still smiling gently towards him Sirius once again noticed how thing thin and pale the boy looked, even the smile looked pained. With a sigh he spoke again. "Are you okay? I mean it's just that you looks so sad and…" Sirius again didn't know what to say. He didn't know how to express his worry.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I really am." Remus looked away from Sirius trying to hide his now teary eyes.

"You don't look like you are." Sirius sat next to Remus on the ground trying to look into the werewolf's eyes.

"I've just had a lot In my mind and I haven't been sleeping much, you know what that does to me…" Remus turned and smiled at Sirius, but it still looked like an empty smile. Sirius knew what that meant, Remus was always tired but when he didn't sleep he was so exhausted it made him very sensitive and sometimes very grumpy. "I'll be fine though, you know I'm tough." Remus smiled at him, his sadness was hidden better but still visible.

"That you are." Sirius looked at Remus fondly, his love for Remus still showing in his eyes.

Remus looked away so he wouldn't get lost in them, he had no right to be looking into Sirius' eyes like this, he had already ruined that. "Your girlfriend is very pretty…"

The theme of the conversation had changed so fast Sirius didn't know how to respond, he only looked away as fast as he could, reminding himself that they had broken up.

"I'm glad you found someone that makes you happy. You deserve it." Remus was playing with some blades of grass next to him.

"You deserve that too Remus." Sirius could now feel his throat closing up, thinking about how happy Remus used to look when they were together. If they were still together, Malfoy didn't seem like the kind of boyfriend Remus should want.

"I really don't." Remus then stood up. "I should go inside, there's someone I need to meet so, I'll hopefully see you soon." Sirius wanted to tell Remus to stay, to smile again and to just be as happy with him as he used to be, but the werewolf just gave him another sad smile and left towards the castle.

Sirius wondered if Remus was still dating Malfoy and he was the cause of all this. James had said Remus wasn't dating the blonde anymore but there was the chance that James just didn't know that Remus was dating him. He hoped Malfoy wasn't the cause, Remus shouldn't have a boyfriend who hurt him like this, but Sirius wasn't the one who should complain about something like this, he had after all slapped Remus while they were still together. Even now he still hurt him, by showing Remus his new girlfriend in the worst way possible, it had been something very mean to do. He regretted it so much and had even broken up with her to at least do something nice for once, besides he was sick of her, she was so clingy and too whiny when he didn't give her all of his attention. Remus was never like that, Remus was the perfect boyfriend, talking to Remus had reminded him of it, made his heart ache with longing. He had missed Remus so much. His cruelty had been his stupid way of dealing with how much he wanted to have Remus again.

He couldn't believe Remus would say he didn't deserve happiness, Remus should get the best in everything, he was the kindest person Sirius knew and there was no reason Remus should suffer, ever. Even when he was trying to hurt the werewolf he knew Remus was too sweet to get treated like that. Sirius was still hurt about him cheating but most of it had passed and now he just felt very sad and guilty about his actions, no matter what he shouldn't have hurt his ex-boyfriend like that. It was hard for him to admit when he was wrong, but he would do it for Remus.

He wished he had been nicer, that he had done everything he could to win Remus back as soon as they broke up or at least try to be his friend, Sirius wasn't sure he could trust Remus enough to date him again. Sirius may not be ready to date Remus again but he had to face it, whatever Remus did he would still love him and even if he had cheated it didn't stop him from feeling so much love for Remus.

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**A/N: **Hi guys sorry for taking so long to publish this, I've been busy lately, but I hope you're still there and aren't too mad, sorry.

And I hope you like it, I wanted to show Sirius' side and how he feels looking at Remus being so sad and all. Don't worry he won't just go instantly back to being nice but he's kind of tired of being without Remus and talking to him just made him realize how much he misses his friend.

Sorry about any spelling mistakes I checked twice but I always somehow still miss stuff.

I hope you stop hating Sirius so much now :)

-XxFallingxAngelxX

P.S.: XxSilverLionxX and your friend: I'll try to update the stories in the order you gave me and I hope you liked this I posted as soon as I could, so that I could make you to happy :P


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